


Nobody Told Me Not To Drop The Soap, I Want A Refund

by Briana_Dubs



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Tony is rich, loki's scary, prison fic, there's surprisingly few characters in this, we all know the drill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-07-05 06:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15857889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briana_Dubs/pseuds/Briana_Dubs
Summary: Tony gets sent to prison. His roommate is apparently really scary. Deadpool shows up.Nobody gets attacked in the laundry room.





	1. Chapter 1

“So, have you ever been shanked?”

Tony Stark was going to prison. Well, more specifically, he was already in the prison building, but now he was being walked to his cell. He had asked the guard escorting him about five hundred questions already and he still wasn’t stopping.

“Have you ever actually seen someone pull drugs out of their ass? Ooh, what about a knife? Wouldn’t that hurt?”

The building had a few different floors of cells, and Tony was up on the second floor. He had been expecting iron bars lining the walls, but instead they were doors that only had a small sized window opening about the height of a six foot tall human. Tony was not a six foot tall human, and so he walked by the doors and couldn’t see into any of them. That was when he started pestering his guard.

“I don’t think anyone’s gonna want to jump me in the showers. I’ve got some pretty fuck ugly scars on my back. I mean, unless somebody’s into that. You know anybody?”

His escort was technically one of the directors of the entire prison system, Nick Fury. He apparently was a stone cold bastard, because not even jokes about Tony getting hurt were making him crack up. And usually jokes like that made everybody at least smile! He certainly didn’t appreciate Tony asking if a shanking lead to the eyepatch he was wearing. Maybe he was sensitive about it.

All at once though, Tony saw the director smirk beside him. He jumped on that as fast as he could. “What? What’s funny? Did I make a good joke?”

“I’m just happy I won’t have to listen to your stupid ass mouth much longer,” Fury responded, finally. “Your roomie killed his last two friends for talking back in the first night. I give you, since you never seem to stop fucking talking, about an hour with him.”

“Gee, that’s a real comfort,” Tony said, rolling his eyes. “You never know, maybe he’ll like my sense of humor!”

“Stark, if you can keep your whore mouth shut long enough for your lawyers to get you out of here, I give you about a month before all your fucking money sends you home. If you don’t, you’ll leave much sooner, and in a body bag.” Fury’s one eye was hard as it leveled a look at Tony.

Tony rolled his eyes. “A month is how long it would take for my case to even go through the court,” he argued, “You don’t have to try and make me feel better. I’ll probably be stuck here like half a year or more before they finally get the false charges thrown out.”

Fury shook his head. “You keep saying false charges, but I have yet to see proof of your innocence.”

Before Tony could respond, they reached a door that looked identical to all the rest, save the number on top, and a loud buzzer sounded off before it opened. Tony was just watching the mechanics of it opening, seeing the painfully slow turn of wheels for what must have been an ancient pully system. He wanted to take it apart and make it better so badly that he didn’t notice Fury stepping forward. He did notice when the director shoved him into the cell with so much force, Tony fell onto the concrete.

The loud buzzer was going off again, Tony stood up as fast as he could and shouted at Fury. “Fuck off! I have a heart condition, you know!”

“I’m sure you do, motherfucker,” Fury responded before the cell door shut and he was on his way.

Tony huffed and puffed where he stood for a moment before walking over and flopping onto the open bed built hanging off the wall. Or, well... Metal slab with a blanket and pillow hanging off the wall. Arms crossed against his chest, chin squished down by his collarbone, he grumbled to himself as he looked around the tiny room. Ugly silver toilet looking thing in the corner. Sink? Was that a sink next to the toilet? Weird. The walls were painted cement blocks, the floor was just concrete painted blue, and the ceiling looked like it was getting ready to spawn fifty kinds of mold. His eyes finally went to the identical bed hanging across from his own and the man sitting on it.

He was pale, thin looking, and had long messy black hair hanging around his face. So, kind of creepy looking in a vampire sort of way, but nothing so frightening or imposing that Tony would have assumed the guy killed two other people. Tony noticed the man was hunched over a little book, reading something, he assumed spooky. After Tony was sure he had to have been staring long enough to count all the hairs of the man’s eyebrows, he finally looked up from his book. Green eyes, Tony noted.

“Hey,” Tony said, voice kind of muffled by how he was slouched against the wall. “M’Tony.”

The man leveled him with a slow, almost cat like, blink before he responded, “Loki.”

“Whatchya readin?” Tony motioned with his elbows toward the book.

Loki’s eye flicked to the book before back up to Tony. “Shakespeare,” he answered, showing him the cover of the copy of Midsummer Night’s Dream.

“Shakespeare?” Tony repeated, lifting his head a bit. “That’s not very prison-y!”

Loki’s lips twitched into the tiniest bit of a smile at that comment. It was more than Tony got from Fury, so he was counting it as a win. “Sorry to disappoint,” he said, still smiling a little. “I finished all the more frightening books months ago.”

Tony huffed. “Coulda lied and said it was Edgar Allan Poe. Even that’s scarier than Shakespeare.”

Tony let himself shuffle back until he was laying flat on his bed. It was incredibly stiff and would probably give him awful back problems, but whatever. “Oh,” he turned his head back toward his cellmate. Loki had gone back to reading, but paused when Tony made the noise. “If you’re gonna kill me, just make sure I don’t know about it ahead of time. My heart’s so shit the panic would kill me before you ever got the chance.”

Loki made a scoffing noise, but it was accompanied by the same tiny smile, so Tony figured it must have been a laugh. He didn’t say anything, though, he just nodded his head once and went back to his book.

Tony didn’t want it to be silent in that room. Yeah, sure, he was scared. Prison was a fucking terrifying idea. But he had been kidnapped and tortured twice. This was only the fourth most frightening thing to ever happen to him in his life. He just really didn’t want it to be so quiet yet.

“When do they assign jobs?”

His cellmate didn’t look up from the book this time. “It varies from prisoner to prisoner,” he replied, “You will most likely be given an evaluation before they sign you off.”

“Am I gonna work in laundry?”

Loki paused now. He lifted his head to look at him and Tony quickly realized the knowing look in his eyes. “No,” Loki said, “I would assume you will be assigned to help with maintenance, Stark.”

Tony laughed. “Fuck. Figured me out, huh?”

“When your face is plastered on every magazine and newspaper nearly daily, it must be hard to find someone who doesn’t know who you are.”

“Yeah,” Tony sighed, letting his head go back to face the ceiling. “It’s a blessing and a curse.”

After a moment of quiet, Tony looked at Loki again. He seemed so thin. He couldn’t be doing any really heavy lifting jobs, could he? “Where do you work?”

“They have me in laundry,” Loki replied, “It is where I can do the least damage.”

Before Tony could ask any more questions, there was another loud buzz and the lights went out. It would have been pitch black in their cell if it weren’t for one thing. The arc reactor glowed faintly through the fabric of Tony’s shirt. He could see the little circle of blue light plain as day. It wasn’t visible with the lights on, but when the only other source of light was a tiny little window by the ceiling, it shone like a star.

Even with the room completely silent and dark, Tony knew his cellmate was looking at him. “Don’t ask,” Tony said, turning away to try and hide the light.

A beat of silence passed before Loki replied. “All right.”

 

* * *

 

Tony woke up when the first light of day made its way into the cell. Granted, he didn’t really sleep. He mostly dozed and jolted awake at every little sound. Just because it wasn’t a kidnapping didn’t mean it wasn’t terrifying spending the night in a tiny room with another human being he had never met before. You know, a human who also supposedly killed two other humans? Yeah. Cheerful. Super easy to sleep.

He turned on his slab of a bed and frowned when he saw Loki was already awake. He was using the sink thing. So it was a sink. At least he knew now.

“So what’s the plan for the day?” he decided to start the day off on as good a foot as possible. Figuring out the schedule seemed like a good idea.

Loki glanced at him before continuing to wash his face with the water. “We’re in block C. We are scheduled to bathe before our first meal of the day. There isn’t enough room for all blocks at once.”

“At least I’ll get to be clean before I touch things that are going into my mouth.”

Loki turned and raised a brow as he looked at him. “Do you hear yourself talk, or do you just spew nonsense so you can listen to the sound of your own voice?”

“Sometimes both, sometimes neither,” Tony replied, standing up and scratching absently at the arc reactor under his shirt. “Sometimes I dream about talking to aliens, does that count?” Loki made that scoffing noise again and stood by his own little bed, letting Tony go to the sink to splash water at himself.

“You’re not even gonna tell me not to drop the soap?” He glanced back at his cellmate, smirking.

Loki gave him a quick and obvious onceover before rolling his eyes. “You’re more likely to be killed for being who you are than anything,” he said.

“Gee, thanks, that’s so comforting.”

“Frankly I’m surprised you’re so chipper,” Loki said, leaning against the door to the little room. “You are in a prison, after all.”

Tony shrugged. “I’ve been held hostage and tortured before,” he said, voice completely flat. “I think as long as nobody water-boards me again, I’ll be fairly calm.” The look on Loki’s face at that was… confused. That would be the best way to put it. He looked like he was turning that information over in his head. “I’m a billionaire who was a child once. You do stupid things as a kid. Like hide from your security detail…”

“Ah.”

They were saved from any more uncomfortable chit chat when the buzzer sounded and their door began to open. Once there was enough room for him, Loki stepped out and Tony had to jog to keep up with him. When Loki gave him a look, Tony explained that no one had bothered to show him where the showers were, or the mess hall but he didn’t mention that yet, so he was just trying to follow Loki so he wouldn’t end up in laundry or something.

“You have a strange fascination with laundry,” Loki said, slowing down a little now that he knew Tony was trying to learn the layout a little.

Tony shrugged. “Well, yeah, that’s all anyone ever talks about in prison movies. It’s like some weird tourist attraction.” Loki made a face at him that was like a cross between a smirk and a frown, and they made their way into a room where quite a few prisoners were already stripping off their clothes. Tony unfortunately noticed how many of them turned and stared at him, but tried to ignore it.

He had started tugging at his shirt, but froze when he realized he was going to have to expose the reactor. Not many people knew about it. Even fewer knew what it actually did. And he was going to have to let a whole bunch of criminals see it up close and personal.

“I had thought you would be more comfortable getting naked, Stark,” Loki teased from beside him where he was throwing off his clothes. “I suppose your sex tapes gave off the wrong impression?”

Gritting his teeth and taking in a deep breath, Tony pulled the shirt up over his head and snarled out, “Fuck you.” He felt his hand twitching with the impulse to reach up and touch the reactor, but forced himself to ignore it and push off the rest of his uniform.

When he turned and walked toward the showers, he knew Loki was staring. (Among others.) He just went and chose a little spot for himself. He was almost surprised Loki chose to bathe right next to him. Almost.

“Am I allowed to ask about that now?”

Groaning a little bit, Tony sent Loki an icy glare. “It’s a fancy pace-maker I made, happy?”

Loki tilted his head and examined the reactor for a moment. “It looks painful.”

“I’m used to it,” Tony hissed and turned a little so the reactor didn’t get any more wet than absolutely necessary. He tried not to scowl at the people he caught looking at him, but occasionally he forgot himself and sneered at someone. Once he had finished showering and pulled his clothes back on, he followed after Loki to the mess hall.

The food was disgusting. Absolutely tasteless and gross, but Tony still ate it. He couldn’t remember his last full meal before the whole shit show that led him to this place, so he figured he was probably lacking in nutrients. May as well eat whatever he could. He had sat with Loki since he didn’t know anyone else and the guy didn’t really seem to care. Honestly, after Fury’s little speech about him, Tony was kind of disappointed that Loki wasn’t a lot more psychotic and murdery.

People were still staring at him and after he noticed the thirtieth person to openly gawk while they walked by, Tony finally realized something. Nobody else was sitting anywhere near them. No one else was within six feet of their table. He knew that wasn’t because of him- he was fresh meat, nobody would be scared of him. So that meant… Wow… Maybe Fury hadn’t been just trying to freak him out. Maybe there was some truth to the whole ‘Loki is fucking crazy’ thing.

“Looks like you’ve got a lot of friends in this place.” Tony couldn’t resist poking at this new information. He was curious by nature. Loki only made a face at him and continued eating. “Seriously, whadid you do? What got you in here?”

Loki shrugged. “Attempted to take over New York City. Had a sizeable cult following. Didn’t succeed. Got shoved in here.”

…

“Oh.” Whatever Tony had been expecting, it wasn’t that. “You had a cult?”

“Wasn’t mine,” Loki said, as if that made the explanation any less weird. “I was just the figurehead.”

“Right, cuz you’re just so pretty.”

“Essentially, yes,” Loki said, smirking across the table at Tony. “Certainly much better looking than the fucker who started the whole thing.”

Tony had found himself smiling at Loki’s joke about how attractive he was. A man after his own heart. His smile fell a little at the second part. “He in jail too?”

“No one believed me when I said I didn’t think the whole thing up,” Loki explained. “He’s out trying to do worse.” Tony grimaced at the idea of a crazy madman out there trying to take over the world. “How did you end up here?” Tony blinked about seven times when he processed the question. “With all your money, I imagined any charges against you would have been thrown out before they even reached a courthouse.”

Tony huffed. “Doesn’t matter. Didn’t do what they said I did, and my lawyers will find everything they need to prove it soon enough. I keep all my files. Won’t take long.”

“And here I was expecting to have a new roommate for years to come.”

Tony grinned at Loki. “Was that a joke? Did you just make a joke?”

Loki rolled his shoulders, still smiling. “I dabble,” he said.

 

* * *

 

Tony hated the work hours. He hated them. He was sitting alone in the cell with nothing to do. Could he go out and walk around? Yes. Was he going to? No. Was he afraid of walking around the prison without Loki? Maybe…

People avoided him when he was with Loki. He didn’t want to risk seeing what they would do when he was alone so early into his temporary sentence. He imagined several punches to the face were probably in his future. If people were less likely to hit him because they were scared of his roommate, then he would try to stick with him.

He very nearly screamed when someone stuck their head into his open cell. “Jesus, fuck!”

“Hey, you’re not dead!” The guy shouted, smiling a bit too wide for Tony to think he was completely sane. Actually, now that he looked at the guy, he noticed all the creepy looking pock marks all over his face.

“What the fuck happened to you?”

“Huh?” When Tony motioned with one hand and gestured to his entire body, the guy seemed to understand. “Oh! Cancer treatment gone ugly,” he explained, “I’m Wade Wilson! You probably won’t see me around much, I just wanted to see if you really weren’t dead yet! Turns out you’re not, so I win the pool!”

“I’m not even going to ask,” Tony said, “Nice to meet you, I guess.”

“So, is he big?”

“Huh?”

“Loki,” Wade said. “Is he big?”

Tony stared at him and felt like half of his brain cells were jumping off a cliff. “Dude, I have three different degrees and I didn’t understand any of what that sentence was.”

Wade grinned at him. “Aw, come on, don’t pretend! Everybody’s talking about it! Loki’s finally got a-“

“Move, Deadpool.” Tony jolted a little at the sound of Loki’s voice.

Wade turned his head and smiled at Loki. It honestly looked like he was imitating a teenage girl fawning over her first crush. “Hello handsome~,” Wade sang, running a hand down Loki’s arm as he pushed his way back into the cell.

“If I didn’t already know you would just bounce back, I would stab you,” Loki spat, walking over to sit on his bed.

Wade blew him a kiss. “If you ever want a third, you know where to find me.” He winked and waved at Tony and then left.

…

…

“Please tell me he’s crazy,” Tony pleaded after the silence was becoming unbearable.

Loki laughed. “Oh, he’s completely deranged,” he said, “But no one can manage to kill him, so he’s still here.”

“Cheerful.” Tony let himself flop down onto his back. “He kept asking me if you were big,” he said after a moment, “What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?”

Loki gave him the blankest look he had ever seen. He didn’t think a human face could be so void of emotion, but here he was. “How are you allowed to call yourself a Playboy?”

And then it clicked in his head. Oh. … Ohhhhh! “He was asking me about your dick?”

“Ding ding ding, we have a winner.”

Tony groaned. “Man, I can’t imagine what kind of guy you are if people assume me just being alive means I’m your bitch.” Loki only shrugged. “That doesn’t really make me feel any better. Seriously, was fury not bullshitting me? Did you really kill your last two roommates?”

Loki leaned back against the wall. “They were both under the impression that they needed to assert themselves as soon as possible in order to survive. The idea did not work in their favor.”

“Yeah, no shit! Fuck, you’ve fucking killed people!” He sat up now, running his hands through his hair. “Why the fuck am I alive?!”

Loki shrugged. “You didn’t attack me, so I had no need to do the same.”

Tony stared at Loki for a while after that before letting himself fall back against the wall. “So does this mean I actually have to let you fuck me?”

“Only if you want to~,” Loki purred out with a smirk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly surprised how many people wanted more of this,  
> i did too, but like- wow.
> 
> prison fics are weird.  
> everyone writes them like there's shankings and murders every ten seconds, but like-- I have family who work in prisons. it's a lot of people calling because the toilets are broken and bitching about the television.

The first big fight happened three days after Tony ended up in prison. Somehow he was not involved in it. He actually was sitting off on the sidelines and just watching like some messed up spectator at a weird, dirty gladiator match.

Loki had told him the fights happened a lot because there were groups of people who hated each other here. He didn’t outright say prison gangs, but Tony was saying it in his head the rest of the week. Prison gangs, prison gangs, prison gangs.

There also were plenty of people in the prison in relationships. Tony heard quite a few people calling across the way to each other as they walked around or were led by guards. He definitely heard a few “I love you daddy”s being shouted. When he had heard that he cringed and asked Loki if he had to call him that. Loki had replied, “Please don’t.”

After a week Tony was finally given his job assignment. Loki had been right. He was assigned to help the maintenance department. The officials said that since he could build shit, he could fix shit. That was literal, apparently. While he sat in the room getting a debriefing on how he was supposed to behave, the maintenance supervisor got five phone calls about broken toilets that he had to redirect to the plumbers. “They know we don’t fix those, but they still fucking call us,” he had said, sounding frustrated.

Basically all Tony had to do was do his job, don’t talk back, don’t get too friendly, and don’t try to steal anything. Honestly not that hard, in his opinion. Even the not getting friendly part- most of the guys who worked here seemed so tired of their job that he didn’t get good vibes from them. Dealing with phone calls about shit plugged toilets would make you hate your life.

His first assignment in helping maintenance actually was fixing a machine in the laundry room. The supervisor walked him down, handed him the tools, and said, “Go fucking nuts, Stark. This piece of shit breaks down once or twice a month. If you can make it three or four months, I’ll buy one of your stupid apps for my phone.”

Tony had made a face at the weird compliment/ compromise and smiled a little when he saw Loki inside the room. “Hey roomie,” he called before plopping himself down on the floor and prying open the front of the washer. Loki had been picking at his hands before he spoke, but looked up and watched him get to work once he was there. Tony didn’t mind having two people watching him. That was actually something he was used to. People usually liked watching him work. They wanted to see if his genius was something they could follow visually. Spoiler alert, it wasn’t. He would usually start something, get distracted by another part, work on that for a minute, and generally just move around willy nilly getting things done.

He only noticed Loki wasn’t watching him anymore when Loki walked past him to unload one of the other machines. The supervisor had said something to him about dying the clothes, but Loki didn’t say anything in response and Tony was only half paying attention. Loki walked past him again, the air from his movement making Tony’s clothes shift, and threw the wet clothes into one of the dryers. When it started up, Tony cringed. “That sounds like a dying animal,” he commented, yelling over the screeching and whirring gears.

“Maybe if we get a free day you can fix that one up, too,” the supervisor said. His name was Kent or something like that. Tony couldn’t remember. Didn’t matter.

Loki was reading again, Tony noticed at one point when he happened to glance up at him. It made him scoff. “Seriously, mister Book-worm, do you ever do anything else?”

“He pulls fucking stunts like dying all the uniforms bright ugly colors,” the supervisor commented. “Everyone had to wear god awful lime green jumpers for months!” Judging by the smile on Loki’s face, that was true. Tony would have loved to see that. Loki probably looked good in the green. Would have complimented his freakishly bright green eyes. Tony sometimes felt like they glowed almost as much as his reactor did. He had jokingly started calling the two of them the glowstick duo. Well, in his head, at least.

It took him a little over an hour to fix the washer. The supervisor pulled his phone out on the spot and bought one of Tony’s Iron Man games.

 

* * *

 

Tony and Loki had taken to tossing a wadded up ball of paper back and forth in their room when they were bored and not allowed to walk around. They would sometimes talk while they did, other times not. It was mind numbing, but they didn’t have much to write with, and Tony had a tendency to use up every inch of paper when making blueprints. Sometimes they would play word games and sometimes if Loki was feeling generous he would let Tony have his paper to dabble with. He may be in jail, but Tony was still going to send designs back to Stark Industries, damnit.

“So your first three weeks are almost at an end,” Loki said almost casually as he tossed the paper ball back to Tony.

“I know, and I haven’t been groped once!” Overhand toss.

Loki rolled his eyes. “With how often you talk about sex, I’m surprised by that statement.”

“Hey!”

Loki passed the ball back. “You’ve had less visitors than I thought you would.”

“I told them not to visit much,” Tony said, fiddling with the ball for a moment, “I didn’t wanna make them come all the way out here to such a depressing place.” Loki made a humming noise and held out his hand for Tony to throw the ball back. “What about you? I think I remember the guard taking you for a visitor once like two weeks ago. No family or friends coming to see you here?”

Loki shrugged. “That was my brother visiting,” he said, voice flat and face bored. “When my mother was alive she would visit so much that Fury eventually had to give her a limit.

“Mama’s boy.”

Scoffing at the cheeky smile on Tony’s face, Loki rolled his eyes. Tony leaned forward, though, still grinning at his roommate.

“Seriously, how could anyone be afraid of you when you had your _mommy_ coming around every other day?” Tony squawked and laughed when that tease had Loki kicking his leg and scowling.

“Shut the fuck up.”

Tony didn’t. “Did she bring you candies and pastries? That must have been so cute. Little Loki getting flowers and chocolates from his mommy.” He laughed when Loki kicked him again. “I fucking wish I could have seen that.”

Giving up, Loki threw the ball at Tony’s head, huffed, and leaned against the wall. After stewing with that scowl on his face for a few minutes, eventually his features softened and a sad look came across his eyes.

“Maybe next time Pepper brings me candy, I’ll sneak some back here for you,” Tony offered.

Loki didn’t respond, but the tiniest flicker of a smile twitched his lips and he nodded.

 

* * *

 

The first time Tony was assaulted it sent him into a full blown panic attack. It was in the showers, go figure, and Loki had been slow getting ready that morning. He had only been by himself for a few moments before someone was shoving him into a wall while he showered. The impact had caused him to bite his lip and split it open, and he was pretty sure he had a big ugly bruise on his forehead. The guy going for him was twice his height, probably almost twice his weight, and was cursing in his ear and telling him what a spoiled rich piece of shit he was.

When the guy started choking him was when the panic really started. Tony’s hands jumped up on instinct and he began clawing furiously at the hand around his neck. He wanted to scream, but all that kept going through his head was the thought that if he opened his mouth he would be breathing in water. His fingernails were ripping. He didn’t notice.

He hadn’t registered falling to his knees on the tile, but suddenly he found himself staring at them through the haze of memories rolling over in his head. He couldn’t get air in. He couldn’t breathe!

His hand jolted up to dig at his own neck. Maybe if he could open it himself he could breathe again. He needed air. He was going to die here. He was going to die alone in a cave. None of his friends would know where he was, he was going to die. He was going to die. He was going to die.

“Anthony, breathe.”

A voice? Yinsen… No, Yinsen couldn’t be talking to him, he was dead. He was dead too.

“Breathe.”

Tony couldn’t register where that voice was coming from. All he knew was his throat hurt and his chest felt like it was on fire.

“If you can understand me, Anthony, you need to stand up,” the phantom voice said. Through his blurry vision, Tony nodded and groped one hand into the open air. The instant his palm connected with another Tony felt a zing. There! Yes! Someone! Not alone, not dead, not alone! He used the sensation of skin to slowly bring himself out of the cave and back to where he was. It took ages before the steps he was taking finally felt like they connected with his brain and he realized he was actively walking.

Blinking down at his feet which, yes they were definitely moving and he hadn’t even been aware he was doing that, Tony felt that grounding touch to his hand tighten momentarily. He lifted his gaze and almost tiredly registered the palm touching his was attached to Loki’s arm which was attached to Loki.

Loki, who was pulling him along through the halls of the prison back to their cell. Loki, who up until this point had just been his weird and sometimes funny cellmate. Loki, who took his panic attack and dealt with it better than Pepper ever had in months of being together. Loki, who probably knew exactly what a panic attack looked like and knew exactly what to do to help.

“I think I’m gonna throw up,” were the first words Tony finally managed to get out of his mouth.

Loki looked back at him. “As long as it’s not on me, I don’t really care.”

“Cool.” And Tony puked on the wall to his right.

 

* * *

 

Tony had been sitting on his bed with the paper ball for a while after that. He had been rolling it around in his hands and trying to think of equations and formulas and science bullshit. He wasn’t trying to think of how Loki had saved him, but he still ended up doing it.

After what amounted to half of the day, Tony finally said, “Thanks.”

Loki had been reading, but looked up at the sound of his voice. He closed the book and set it aside. “You’ve got dried blood all over your face,” was what he chose to say in response. Tony kind of preferred that to the usual ‘you’re welcome’ or ‘how are you feeling’ because that at least made him laugh. The other two usually just made him feel bad for worrying everyone.

“Fuck, yeah, I forgot,” Tony wiped at his chin and looked at the dark flecks that came back on his hand. “I must look like a zombie or something, huh?”

“More vampire, but just as unsanitary.”

Tony squeezed the ball in his hands. “You didn’t have to do that, you know…”

“Yes I did.”

“No.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Yes, actually, I did. If I had just let him hurt you, any protection you may have had up to that point would have disappeared. Because then it would have seemed I didn’t care about you, or was not possessive of what is mine. It would have given all others the opening needed to try and claim you or kill you.”

“Oh… Oh, right, cuz I’m still supposed to be your bitch, I forgot.” Tony wanted to laugh about that, but it wasn’t as funny anymore. Not now that he knew he needed Loki to keep him safe. The lie that Loki was keeping him around for sex was the only thing that was keeping other prisoners from doing the same thing.

“I guess it’s a good thing you’re so scary, then.”

“And here I thought I was a mama’s boy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe you guys wanted more of this.  
> wow


	3. Exploring Loki as an evil, twisted villain?? in 2019???? Get outta here with that shit! This is a Soft Boi! LOOSE in a HELLSCAPE!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have absolutely no explanation for this

It was after three months in prison that Tony finally got information from Pepper. They had collected together all the files and his lawyers were looking at everything and starting to make their case. “I’m really hopeful, Tony. I think it won’t be much longer before you’re back home.”

He smiled at his CEO through the glass. “That’s awesome, Pep. I guess you were right- pays to be organized.”

“Of course I was right. I’m always right,” Pepper said, “You just never listen to me.”

“Yeah,” Tony sighed. “Would it make a difference if I said I was sorry?”

Smiling, Pepper nodded and tapped her pen against the notepad she brought with her to visit him. “Just seeing that you’re okay makes me feel better. I’m still angry they wouldn’t let you be in an isolated wing so no one would go after you, but you seem to be doing all right.” She stopped her pen tapping and rested her palm against the glass. “Tony, I was so worried they were going to call me a week after you got in here and tell me you were dead.”

Tony matched her hand on the glass with a soft smile. He hated making Pepper worry. She had enough on her plate as it was. “Don’t you worry, Pep, I’m tough. I can handle it in here.”

Pepper’s soft and sympathetic face fell. “Tony, you’ve woken me up at three in the morning before crying about ants.”

“Hey! That was a legitimate scientific experiment and you know it!” Tony pointed at her and pouted. Pepper just laughed and that was all he was going for. Satisfied, he slumped back in his chair and smiled at her again. “I’m doin okay, though, honestly. Got a really good roommate and nobody wants to piss him off.”

“Oh?” Pepper perked up and scooched a little closer to the glass. “What’s he in for?”

“Forced to be a figurehead in a cult.”

Pepper’s face fell now. “Forced… in a cult…? Tony, what does that even mean?”

Rolling his hand in a circle, Tony leaned back further. “Okay, so there’s this big scary guy who kind of blackmailed my roommate into taking the fall for him and trying to take over New York City, even though it wasn’t really his plan.”

“Wait, is this that guy from the news a few years back? The one with the metal legs?”

“Huh? No, no, Loki doesn’t have metal legs. He’s just a weird guy.” Pepper frowned as Tony said that. “But he is a good guy, Pep, honest. If I can, when I get out, I wanna try and help him get out too.”

“Tony.”

Ignoring Pepper’s warning tone, he said, “He’s saved my ass in here twice already, Pepper. I kind of owe it to him!”

“Tony,” Pepper said again. “You can’t save everybody. Unless you can prove it, he’s not getting out.”

“That’s why I want you to hire a private investigator! Look into him! Into his case! See if you can find anything about some guy named Thanos! If we can help him, then we should!”

With a big sigh, Pepper lowered her head. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  

* * *

 

Loki wasn’t very enthused when Tony told him he wanted to help him. “It isn’t going to make any difference,” he had said. Tony had pouted and argued with him for half an hour before they both ended up giving each other the silent treatment. Both facing the walls on their respective beds.

Since being a helper for the maintenance department of the prison, Tony had helped fix four broken washers, two of the dryers, adjusted a fridge, upgraded the stereo systems for most of the televisions, and had improved the walkie talkies the security staff used. The employees all loved him to death. Especially the supervisor. He told Tony he was constantly getting calls about inmates complaining about the TVs. Constantly.

It was pretty obvious the other inmates couldn’t stand him, though. Except that Wade guy. He seemed to like everyone and was just an all-around massive slut. You do you, if anyone asked Tony. He was just… weird. Still, though, if not for Loki he was sure his ass would have been handed to him fifty times by now.

Which is why it sucked to be arguing with him. Loki was basically his only friend and only line of defense in this place. Being ignored by him was bad. And that was evident now when Tony was walking by himself to the mess hall after being left by himself by Loki. There were far too many eyes on him for his liking. That first attack had not been pretty. He did not want to risk another one. But just because he was afraid didn’t mean he wasn’t also incredibly stubborn.

Sitting down at the usual table with Loki, he cut right to the chase. “Look, what’s your problem? I told you I wanted to help you and you gave me shit for it! Don’t you want to get outta this place?”

Loki’s scowl was cold enough to chill Tony’s blood. He glowered at him from over the tray of food and didn’t say a word in response.

Huffing, Tony let himself lean back a bit, but he continued to frown at Loki. “I could help you,” he said, “I’m a billionaire. If anyone has a shot of getting you out of this place, it would be me.”

“Leave it,” Loki hissed, choosing to look away from Tony.

“Why!?”

“Because it won’t matter. I’ve been here for years. I’m not the same man I was before everything happened.”

And… oh…

That was… a lot more than Tony thought he would get from him, actually.

“Lokes..” He moved forward to rest his hand over Loki’s but Loki pulled his own hands away and under the table.

“None of it matters, Tony,” Loki mumbled, “My family already knows this. You just have to understand that anything I say means nothing. They’ve all made their decisions about me.” He smiled a tiny bit, but it was sad and empty. “And I haven’t exactly proven them wrong.” The defeat in his voice made every part of Tony want to scream. He had just given up! How many people had just abandoned Loki the minute things went wrong for him?! He wanted to rip his own hair out and punch several people in the face. Loki’s bitter smile remained as he said, “Even my own brother doesn’t care. I tried to explain it all to him, but none of it matters.”

“That isn’t true…”

“Isn’t it?” Loki looked up at him, eyes wide and wild. “You know, you’ve met me! I’ve killed people, Anthony. And more than just the two in this place!”

“You didn’t have a choice.”

Loki scoffed. “Everyone has a choice. That’s what they’ve all said.” His hands rested on top of the table again and gripped the edge. “If I was so frightened, why not go for help? Why try so hard to make a big show if I never wanted any part of it? None of my answers matter, Tony. Nothing I say or do makes any difference and it will be the same way for you.”

Tony finally took the chance to grab Loki’s hand. “It can make a difference, Loki. I’m living proof of that.” Loki scoffed again and turned his head away. “I used to be known for my weapons and was just another greedy rich guy trying to steal from the world… I changed. And people saw that. I’m sure if you gave people a chance, they’d see it for you too.”

Looking down at their hands, Loki’s shoulders drooped. “I hate you,” he said, voice quiet. “Getting my hopes up like this.”

Tony squeezed his hand and smiled gently when Loki looked up at him.

“I swear to you, Loki, I’ll get you out of here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh, my speech there MAY be attributed to how Loki just hasn't told ANYONE about being tortured and controlled.... just maybe... 
> 
>  
> 
> he is a good soft boi and he needs to be protected.
> 
> Exploring Loki as an evil, twisted villain?? in 2019???? Get outta here with that shit! This is a Soft Boi! LOOSE in a HELLSCAPE!


	4. Here's Another One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> even more of these two

Prison sucked. Tony didn’t even need to get stuck in one to know that. It was pretty common knowledge that it was not a good place to be.

Pepper was already making huge progress with his case on the outside. He estimated it would probably be at least another few months before he got out. Which, honestly, not the best. People in this place still hated his guts.

Sliding up to the table, sitting by Loki’s side, he set out their trays. Loki hadn’t been into the idea, but Tony felt it was important to try and play up the bond they had. False as it was. He would take Loki’s tray from his hands, Loki would go to their table, and Tony would follow after him once he got drinks. It was just one small thing they had implemented to keep people thinking he was Loki’s bitch. Some of the other things would be letting Loki drag him away to ‘hidden’ areas to ‘have his way with him’ and then others would be sitting between Loki’s legs during recess. Usually he just sat there with the back of his head resting against Loki’s thigh, but other times he put on a little show by facing into Loki’s crotch and faking a certain act that the other inmates knew all too well. Loki was a good actor, even though he didn’t want to be involved.

“Can I pet your hair?” Tony asked as he chewed on a sandwich. Loki made a face at him, but didn’t say no, so Tony reached his free hand up to run his fingers through the long black locks. After a few run-throughs, he began rubbing the pads of his fingers against his scalp.

Loki made a humming noise and turned his head a little to look at him. “Another one of your displays of affection?” he asked.

“It could be. Honestly I just wanted to play with your hair,” Tony said, smirking at him. Loki sighed and his hand shot up to snatch Tony’s.

“Enough.”

Tony let his hand drop back down and said, “Sorry.”

“You don’t have to play it so on the nose,” Loki told him. “There are plenty of others in here in our situation and you don’t see them acting like you.”

“No, they’re the ones who shout out ‘I love you daddy’ in the halls.” Tony frowned, but turned back to his food. “And then later they’re the ones you can hear fucking all through the whole building.”

“Just be happy you’re getting out soon.”

 

* * *

 

Tony’s case file was being thrown out. Fury had come and told him while he stood outside their cell like some sort of creepy sentinel. There wasn’t substantial evidence, the court said. He had been so happy he could have kissed Fury right then and there.

When the director had left, Tony turned with a huge grin on his face, ready to share his excitement with Loki. He stopped fast when he saw his cellmate sitting on his bunk, legs curled up tight against his body. He looked… miserable.

“Lokes?” He quickly slid down beside him, reaching a hand out to touch his shoulders. “Hey… you all right?”

Loki’s eyes flickered to him for a moment before staring back out away from him. His face was mostly hidden behind his knees and his arms were wrapped around his legs. Tony rubbed his hand back and forth slowly across his shoulder-blades. When Loki finally did speak, his voice was quiet.

“So you’re leaving, then…” Loki’s sad green eyes shifted to his face.

Tony nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I will be in five days. Like Fury said…”

Loki’s eyes focused somewhere just beyond Tony’s left ear. “I’m happy for you…”

“Hey,” Tony tried to turn him to face him better. Loki was hard to move, though. “Hey, Loki, look at me.” The eyes that had glazed blinked a few times before settling back on his face. “I’m not gonna forget about you in here. I’m going to get you out.”

Loki pulled away from his hold then and turned his back to him. “I appreciate the… sentiment.” He jerked his arm away when Tony tried to reach for him again. “But the words give little comfort… There is nothing to be done.”

“Loki…” Tony reached for him again, moving to rest his chin on his shoulder. “I know you don’t want to get your hopes up, but I promise you. I’m going to get you out of this place.” Loki scoffed. “I’ll find the guy who used you… I’ll talk to him. And- and if he won’t listen then I’ll throw Pepper at him. She’s the most terrifying woman I’ve ever met, Loki. If she can’t do it, no one can.”

His cellmate dropped his head onto his hand. His hair tickled as it fell over Tony’s arm, but he simply pressed himself closer and held Loki close.

“You care so much,” Loki’s voice was soft, gentle almost. “I don’t deserve that.”

Tony turned his head into the side of Loki’s, breathing in the smell of his hair. “I feel like we’ve had this conversation already…” He moved his head and pressed his lips to the top of Loki’s head. “Agree to disagree?” The moment the words were out of his mouth, Loki was turning his head and sliding their lips together. He took in a sharp breath for a second before leaning forward over Loki and kissing him back. It was wet, messy, and their teeth kept clacking together and it was perfect.

When they pulled apart, Tony let out a shaky sigh. “Wow…” Loki laughed a little at that and turned his head away. “Getting thrown in jail is one thing… Never would’ve thought I would fall in love there too.”

“Consider it a parting gift,” Loki mumbled.

Now it was Tony’s turn to scoff. “ _No_ , sex would be a parting gift. That was just the appetizer.”

Loki turned his head back and raised an eyebrow. “I thought you said you didn’t want me to fuck you?”

“No, you said I could if I wanted to.” He rolled his shoulders.

“And I want to.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kisses~

**Author's Note:**

> fuck if I know


End file.
